To the One Falling, lets Fall Forward Friend.
I have written this and deleted it over and over again. I have changed the name of it at least 4 times. I even contemplated completely deleting this whole thing and pretending like it never happened. Going after this thing that Gods placed in my heart ain't no Joke.
But Jesus. And a Call Up Conversation with my sister.
This season has been difficult, and incredible- all at the same time. More than ever, I understand and truly believe who's I am, and who I am. That my identity is not based on my past, present, or future. That my identity isn't based on who likes me- or not. It is not based on the idea- that I may never be enough, or that I may consistently just be too much.
It is also, not based on my emotions.
My identity, where I am rooted, where YOU are rooted- sweet sister, friend- is in Christ Jesus. It is rooted in the names that our father calls us- Chosen, Forgiven, Disciple, Daughter of a King. It is rooted in the sacrifice of the Cross. It is rooted in the fact that we have already won.
There friends, is where we find Freedom. Where in exchange for our mess, junk, and brokenness, he gives- Redemption, Reconciliation- GRACE. I have been so afraid this year, more than ever. Afraid to fail, Afraid that I am never enough, and that I will never live up to it. (The unreal expectations in my brain- that is). I have been living in fear of never being a good enough wife, and my Children growing up only remembering how sad their mom was when they were little.
Fearful of my brokenness, and its scarlet letter.
I was engulfed and overtaken by the LIE- the lie of Consistently feeling like I'm forever falling, never able to get one foot in front of another. Always feeling like we can be thrown around by the wind, always being tossed to and from with what life throws at us. The ugly feeling of drowning and failure. Falling.
And then- there is TRUTH. Our feelings are valid, are hearts hurt is real- But Gods love for us is greater. In the middle of the mess, when we fail and fall- because we will, he will be there to catch us. We don't have to have it all together. We don't have to come packaged all nice and neat for Him. He Pursues us right where we are. Speaking into our Hearts, constant Love. Real Promises that remain.
Our lives will be messy, they will be hard, and at times we will fall, and fail. Our flesh will not be enough, and friends, that is Good News- Because He is enough.
So we rise, and walk. We press IN. We walk in the Courage & Bravery that our Father has for us, and has been given to us. And when we fall, we fall FORWARD- into His arms.
I am going to Fall Forward. I am going to know that even in this, in this chapter of my story, I am still called His, and always will be. And the season after that, and the next, and next.
Remember WHO'S you are, WHO you are, and what you are called. And when you fall, FALL into Him.
Run something fierce after His truth.
Your Incredible sweet friend, and he's got you right where he wants you.