Our Plans or His will? 13 things I learned in February.
Hey Dear Friend,
Well, I’ll tell you right now. I am so glad to be back. You might have already read that I had taken the site down for a while to upgrade, and add some really great tools that I am working on for you all. So yeah – it came down, I did some things to it, but not all that I had hoped. I kept saying, just wait just wait. Everything in me, my performance-driven side, perfectionist Alex wasn’t haven’t it.
But then, Jesus whispered something so sweet to me. “Why don’t you try and trust my timing in finishing all of the things, even in this space too, Alex?”
See, The last few months have been really new for me, foreign but in the best kind of way. I got quiet, confused, sad. I believe the Lord allowed for this to happen in this season- His perfect timing. Space for Him and I to slow down, to look back so that I can fully move forward. It wasn’t full blown depression this time, but sadness. Change- something In me was stirring. I felt like grieving had taken over my heart, all the while I was shedding some old and dead skin.
I had big and bold goals, plans for January and February. I ran into it with a good pace, broken down action steps, and even realistic expectations. I was ready.
I wrote down things like, “more intentional time with our community, begin to implement better eating, work on / finish up new study & devotional, at home workouts, finish web site, more intentional writing, opening up our home more, video creating, adding in school hours to week, attending a bible study, etc”
But God had other plans. He spoke loud & clear. Him and His love for me was His priority- healing at the top of His list.
And so He slowed me down. Answered prayer in the most beautiful of ways, and gave me pockets of time & space to do even more for myself that what I could do on my own. Back to back, he gave me opportunities to walk into abundance, and so I did. I chose still & unseen places with my family. I chose the mentoring of two gals instead of teaching on videos. I chose a small bible study. I chose going back to counseling. I chose my small group; I chose to ease back into school. I chose being mentored and sitting down somewhere for a little bit.
I heard Him telling me to care for my soul, to ask questions again, get curious. You see, one of my biggest convictions is to really know God for myself. Not based on my husband, friends, pastor, Bible teachers, etc. (even though the gifts in all of them to lead me to Jesus are all great.)
But to really know God, His love for me- and to live from that place. To love Him with all of my heart, mind, soul, and strength.
And then somehow it all fell into place in my heart.
It’s not to say those others thing I was planning on were bad, or wrong, or too much. But what I’m saying is this- Gods best for us is actually THE BEST. It’s His timing, and ignoring His promptings, I’ll even call it disobedience, never leads us to new life.
Sometimes, no – every time, taking the time to Hear what He’s asking us to is the best next choice. He does show us and impresses on us our real priorities. We just have to believe, by Faith, that we actually do Hear from God. He is living in us and is our guide and a lamp to our feet, our path.
And when we walk with Him and choose His road, His way, I believe we’ll see the fruits of His work in our lives- the abundance we see written down in scripture as our promise, made real and activated in our lives.
So, what did I learn in February? Ha.
I should I actually call this – what I’ve learned so far in 2019. But here it is:
1. Gods healing in our lives is His provision.
2. My capacity has nothing to do with what God actually want’s me to do. Just because I CAN, doesn’t mean that I should.
3. The gift of forgiving is not one to pass up.
4. Work from the inside out is still Gods greatest gift to us – Himself fleshed out in our lives. Not the other way around.
5. The gift of disappointment brings us to contentment in Him.
6. The gift of co-existence. Joy with weariness. Hope with sadness: strength and weakness.
7. Being still doesn’t mean don’t press– but i does mean to rest in Gods love for us. To do what He’s asking us to do, and not do what we think is best. (And what Gods asking us to do is to love Him, love ourselves, love others. We move and lead from that place.
8. Time management is still key. Don’t pretend like it’s not.
9. Praying and communing are non-negotiable. Spiritual rhythms are a gift of the Holy Spirit, but we have to continue to choose them
10. Bring friends in close, real close.
11. God gave our bodies signals, ways to tell us how we’re feeling – don’t ignore them.
12. For Goodness sake, do not skip out on Vitamin D ever again.
13. Don’t ever question your conviction for the Gospel, for Jesus. Live from the deepest place in you that tells you to live fully given over to the cross.
14. He is the prize.
And now, well now I see things a little bit clearer. My hearts more at ease, I’ve stepped back into abiding, and my soul is telling me it recognizes the difference. So, I’ll go from there and listen to God as He whispers loudly what He’d like me to do next. What I can be sure of though, is that being at His feet, curious, asking questions, keeping the conversation open with Him is my priority. Remember to slow down when needed, and take Heath to the whispers of your soul.
I’m ready for March!
I’d love to hear from you – what did you learn in February?
Love y’all, and talk soon!